It seems like I'm facing a quarter-life crisis now. I have been doubting myself too often and the fact that I keep seeing that others are better than me make me wonder why am I so lousy. Sigh.. Their command of language is better than me, their socialising skills are better than me. Me, I can't seem to make friends who will be there. They alawys disappear after a certain period. Other people don't seem to have this problem. So, I guess the issue is with me. I don't have the courage to make new friends either because I think they will run away too, which leads to further disappointment and hurt.

I know that I should care less about others and stop comparing myself with them, but I'm just stating my thoughts here. I want to improve myself and be better so that one day, I can be a person that I'm proud of. The only difficult thing is time. Improvement doesn't happen with a flick of the finger. It takes time. I have to be more patient and take one step at a time.

어떻게

What do you do when you don't have the dare to believe in yourself?

A brand new year 2012

Happy Chinese New Year! Hope that everything goes smoothly and better than the previous year :D And grow into a stronger person!

I guess I'm a coward but I can't do it anymore so

Sorry and Thank you

Dec's aim: Slim down

I wish to have Lena's or the other model on the right's figure. But my main challenge is my diet. I just can't control what I'm eating haha I'm too greedy. SO the plan is to slim down by 19th dec (in time for my cousin's wedding) AND catch the christmas shopping sales before it all ends! Tomorrow, my famiy and I are going to Bukit Timah Hill for a climb. So let's go! Nice figure wait for me~

Count down: 8 days

I just got back from MBS after eating the chocolate buffet. I wouldn't say that it wasn't nice, but I expected that there would be more varieties. Also, after 2-3 plates, we were all feeling quite full. It was the first time I ate chocolates until I felt like throwing up upon consuming more. hahha. At least, the view was nice from the sky park. You would feel as though you're at the tallest building in singapore, although swissotel is the tallest. However, you could also see how polluted singapore is. I didn't realise it until I looked at the area (on the side of Marina Barrage). We ate till around 11+ to 12a.m. We reached City Hall mrt around 12 a.m. and there was no more train to Joo Koon. Hence, we decided to go to the taxi stand outside Raffles City to take a cab home. The first few passengers had their taxis, but as time goes by, fewer taxis entered into the taxi stand. Most taxis that came in were on call. But we still decided to wait it out as I was really out of budget for the day (having spend $44 for the buffet).

After around 45 mins, I finally reached home. But along the way home, I've been feeling uneasy. I'm not sure why I feel this way. Ever since I had swimming lesson yesterday. It feels as though something bad is going to happen. Or maybe I feel very guilty over spending too much and on unnecesary things. I don't know my feelings now... I'm kinda lost.

I'm not sure whether it has to do with me liking a guy. Him and I do not have a lot of things in common, but I feel like connecting with him. At the same time, there's another friend whom suits him better than I do. I felt a little inferior. Is this a need for recognition or really that I have something for him? I wish I get to know him better. I guess I'm afraid that he might reject me. Relationships are so hard. Why does it have to be this way?